“I didn’t know when I began in the Biggest Mover program at the Y that I would be noticing moreÂ changes in me than just my weight number.Â However, I can’t give all the credit to the Y for the workouts and newfound friends.Â The credit to the realizations I’ve had culminate with the opportunity the Islander has given me to share, vent, and explore parts of myself and the determination and will within the person created by God, my parents, and those who have shaped Carmen.
The shaping is not over and it neverÂ will be.Â I expect it to beÂ anÂ ongoing ever-changing process full of twists and turnsÂ thatÂ will make me jump for joy or frustrate me.Â I believeÂ that by taking one day at a time and by engaging with others fullyÂ day to day, the struggle with food being my drug will be cited but not given power to run my life.
Yes, the number is less (44 pounds!): shirts fall over me differently (some say they think I’m more â€˜defined’) and several pairs of pants I haven’t seen in a long time I’m able to get in comfortably now.
Something, though, has been able to emerge I didn’t consider emerging.Â I am beginning to be more apt to take part and try things I would have been fearful of (speaking in front of or performing in front of people for instance).Â Some who really know me have said they admire my guts to keep on trying.Â Things that come to mind are saying â€˜yes’ to being the emcee at the American Heart Association Dress Red Fashion Show the YWCA put on last Saturday at Birch Bay Village.
I doubt I would have considered that before iResolve and the Biggest Mover program began, and if I had, I would have been much more stressed. Most of the time, I beat me at my own battle, focusing on limits I’d put on myself years ago.Â When I found I could ad lib and make it fun at the show, I could draw on the confidence of who I know I am at my core, therefore removing the stress of trying to be who I thought someone wanted.Â The other instance was moving ahead with playing the piano (learning) withÂ a professional cellist who is learned.Â It’s not the first time I thought I had to be perfect (even during a lessonÂ while playing in front of my teacher) but through these weeksÂ my confidence level in meÂ being me has grown and I think that will help me not just with the weight program, but with believing in myself in shaping who I was created to be.
â€˜You are not your weight.’
As the last week of this series comes to an end, I want to thank the Y, the Islander, those at work who genuinely are happy for me, my church and the communion of saints andÂ those on Mount Desert Island and off who cheer for me silently or by word.
For those who have followed me in the paper or on the blog and who see some part of themselves in the words or situationsÂ ““ and who aren’t yet ready to give a healthier life a try ““ I hope you will think about it again.
It can be one change at a time that makes a difference.
For those of you who were inspired by my own journey, that’s what it was about.Â And it really wasn’t my journey alone, you all were there inspiringÂ me along the way.
“Through these weeksÂ my confidence level in meÂ being me has grown and I think that will help me not just with the weight program, but with believing in myself in shaping who I was created to be.” ““ Carmen Greene