It’s a cellar’s market

black boxYou already know that your money isn’t earning diddly. The interest yield from savings accounts, checking accounts and CDs is peanuts. And the stock market has been particularly unreliable.

Sometimes you feel you’d do better just keeping your money under your mattress. And, in fact, with the arrival of negative interest, where banks charge you for parking your money in their institutions, you really would do better with Sealy Posturepedic.

But do not give up. Consider alternative investing. Join the financial pioneers who are sinking their money into wine.

No kidding: it’s hot. Wine has become a commodity class complete with brokers, investment portfolios and its own stock exchanges.

And not just wine. There’s a whole market for whiskey investors. Also, champagne is big. Tête de Cuvée is considered very collectible. Truthfully, though, we think the champagne market is unstable. People have lost their assets. Surely you remember the Champagne Bubble of 2009.

No, once we decided to quench our thirst for easy money, the correct answer was wine.

Oddly, the experts insist that the best investments are French Bordeaux wines such as the 2006 Lafite Rothschild and the 1986 Pichon Lalande. Tasty, no doubt, but way too expensive. A case of 2009 Lafite Rothschild goes for $30,000. Who has that kind of money?

We recommend the 2016 Black Box “Red Elegance.” It requires the investment of $26.99 (Hannaford), but it holds four standard-size bottles, which works out to $8.52 a quart.

“Red Elegance” is a newbie: a cunning blend with lots of fruit, mainly cherries, overlaid with chocolate.

After consulting with our broker, we also laid in several Bota Box Merlots at $21.99 each. Bota’s boxes also hold the equivalent of four bottles and they cost less than Black Box — $21.99 per, which is $6.94 a quart.

Now that we have a basement full of Red Box and Bota Box, the question is: How does this make money? Well, you have to let your wines appreciate in value, which takes three to five years. Box wines are perfect for this, as there’s no worry about the cork drying out, what with there being no cork.

If, after five years, your box wine has not appreciated appreciably, you will have to do what the big boys do. Get yourself a nice, clean glass and go down to the cellar and liquidate.

Stephen Fay

Stephen Fay

Managing Editor at The Ellsworth American
Stephen Fay, managing editor of The Ellsworth American since 1996, is a third-generation Californian. Starting out as a news reporter in 1974, he has been an editor since 1976, working in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Vermont before settling in Ellsworth with his wife and two daughters. [email protected]
Stephen Fay

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