Dear Nicole: How do I learn to date at my age?

Q: I am an older person just re-entering the dating scene. I saw you answered a letter a few months ago about a 30-something getting back in the game, but what about those of us who think “tinder” is a way to start a fire in our woodstove?

— Aging and Dating


A: Just because you get an AARP discount doesn’t mean you can’t date online. Most everyone I know has an email address, senior or otherwise, which means you have a method of setting up an online dating profile. Look for websites that specialize in the older people niche or general, larger dating websites. You can have a technological friend or relative help you set up your profile if you feel intimidated… have a glass of wine while you’re doing it even! Trust me, if you can check email, you can send and receive online messages on a dating website, so try it before you write it off as a young person’s thing.

If you are a luddite entirely, you need to get out there in other ways. Volunteer with new groups, take an adult ed class, or do anything that gets you 1) doing something you like and 2) with a new group of people. As it was in your younger years, starting out as friends (online or off) is a great way to build something more.



Q: My co-worker is on Facebook all day. She distracts me with her typing. I’ve tried to go to my boss with this, but it is clear she’s not going to do anything about my socially networked co-worker. Meanwhile, I am picking up the slack. Help.

— Don’t Want To Be Your Friend


A: Sounds like the culture of your workplace dictates what’s going to happen… which is nothing. If you are doing something your other co-worker is responsible for, you can always try not doing it. But I have a feeling that will come back on you somehow. You can also see if you can get social media somehow banned companywide… but your co-workers may see you as all work and no play.

Rather than focusing on your co-worker’s lack of performance, it’ll be more productive to focus on your abundance of performance. Keep track of daily tasks (I love Asana and Toggl for this). Take every opportunity to learn more. When your employee review comes up, take proof of your value with you. It might not get your co-worker canned, but it may get you a raise, which is better for you anyway. Plus showcasing what you are doing may subconsciously show what your co-worker is not.

In a work environment that doesn’t give out raises or penalize people who behave badly? I suggest looking for a new gig where your productivity will not only be more appreciated but perhaps even better compensated… not to mention the benefit of being surrounded with like-minded driven people.

Nicole Ouellette

Nicole Ouellette

When Nicole isn't giving advice she's completely unqualified to give, she runs an Internet marketing company in Bar Harbor, where she lives with her husband Derrick and their short dog Gidget. She loves young adult novels, cooking and talking French to anyone who'll talk back. [email protected]

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