Ask Carolyn

  • Should the husband be the peacemaker?

    Should the husband be the peacemaker?

    Dear Carolyn: My wife is a wonderfully sensible person and appropriately sensitive. She is the oldest of three sisters and often feels left out. The age and geographical distance make it understandable that her two sisters have a much closer relationship. Still, they left her out of a big announcement, and my wife is hurt

  • It’s a little late to be a good neighbor

    It’s a little late to be a good neighbor

    Dear Carolyn: I’m wondering how to make amends with a neighbor who’s aloof and distant. She moved in four years ago. Soon afterward there was a misunderstanding about my friend parking in front of her driveway and she was unnecessarily harsh about it, especially since I was seven months’ pregnant at the time. It really

  • Smart niece, dumb choices

    Dear Carolyn: My accomplished adult niece, 43, has been having an affair with a married man for several years. He is an abusive alcoholic, according to my nephew. Since their mom, my sister, died, I have tried to be as supportive as possible to both of them. The affair is not a secret; she has

  • Boyfriend’s job takes a lot out of him

    Boyfriend’s job takes a lot out of him

    Hi, Carolyn: My boyfriend and I moved in together two months ago. We’re very much in love, and I feel comfortable discussing issues and feelings with him. Although, I have always struggled with bringing up things that make me upset (I’m working with a therapist on this). His job is seasonal, and fall is exceptionally

  • Husband wants in-laws to butt out

    Husband wants in-laws to butt out

    Hi, Carolyn: Our son-in-law recently lodged a complaint that our daughter shared: that we are “far too involved” in their personal business. It makes him uncomfortable to know his wife talks to her parents about much of their lives. We understand and would happily step back, but are not sure how to accomplish that considering

  • Honey, wake up and smell the coffee

    Honey, wake up and smell the coffee

    Dear Carolyn: I was sexually and mentally attracted to this guy for 12 years. We used to have the best times together, then suddenly he seemed a little standoffish, though I continued to be sexually involved with him. I find out he got married while we were still sleeping together. He had been married six

  • I don’t like sharing my entrée

    I don’t like sharing my entrée

    Dear Carolyn: We Americans are used to large restaurant portions. Often when dining out with friends, someone suggests an entree she wants to split, and since I suspect my friends all know I’d rather die than offend, I’m often feeling pressured to agree — even though I’d prefer my own choice. This also denies me

  • My friend’s girlfriend is bad news

    My friend’s girlfriend is bad news

    Dear Carolyn: I have a friend who came out of the closet and moved from a creepy husband (alcohol, crawly hands, very parental, controlling) straight to a live-in girlfriend with a similar personality. It’s kind of like the husband had a sex change. I know that what my friend goes for is not my business,